Archive for the ‘blog’ Category

Tell Me Again…

…why people choose to be foster parents?

After speaking with our “certifier” today, we got a hard dose of reality. Its easy to learn about the process, take the classes and even sign up for the job. Its an entirely different experience to actually do the job.

Our little 18 month old could possibly be with us for over a year, or more. After two weeks, I can really see us all falling in love with him, and he is already incredibly attached to us. The reality of it is sinking in. At three years old, he will still be a great candidate for a quick adoption, if things don’t work out with his family…

But, what will that be like for him, and for us? It will be like losing one of my own children.

I knew this was part of it. I know foster parents can still have a wonderful impact. The love he gets from us will stay with him forever, in his confidence, self esteem, and ability to have meaningful relationships. That’s why I signed up.

But, I am still having a hard time imagining a year from now, especially when we are just now starting to get to know this little guy. Its hard to let my heart know its okay to love him, even though I know I will have to say goodbye.

Still Here

Hubby and I wanted to give up, but the toddler fights have lessened slightly. My little sweet pea offspring is retracting his claws a bit, and actually spending some independent play time. Whew!

I was playing around with the camera and flash tonight, since I never seem to feel free to play until late, when Jason is home. They’re all a bit fuzzy.









The stress level has also been aggravated by our tiresome job of getting our rental house ready. Jason does all the work, but that means extra long hours parenting alone.

But, tonight, my Queso Grande is making pancakes for dinner and we are all sitting around the table for a relaxing conversation.

One Week Into Parenting Three

Things are a lot tougher than we imagined. Xander is really not liking the situation, and the love-hate relationship has turned into a simple hate relationship.

His actions toward Michael are downright abusive. We have to keep them separated. Plus, Xander is getting sick, and waking up every hour at night, ALL WEEK LONG. I keep thinking this can’t go on another night. I am losing my mind with exhaustion. How can I take a nap with two toddlers? I can’t.

Today, they both refused a nap and sweet Michael has had some interesting tantrums, with a deep, growling cry. During this tantrum, he won’t let me rock him or console him. Then a few minutes later, he is suddenly cheerful and playing again.

Jason and I both keep asking ourselves, how much longer can we do this?? Its only been a week. Will it get better, or is Xander going to be angry toward Michael the entire time? Will we ever get a full night’s sleep…ever?

Meet Michael

Last Friday, the 18th, was not only our fifth wedding anniversary, but the day we went and picked up Michael. He’s a 17 month old dream child. He smiles a lot, has a quiet little voice and sleeps like a log at night.


Isaac is loving the guy and helped him feel welcome. Xander, on the other hand, is having a rough time adjusting to him…definitely a love-hate thing going on.

I call this one “The Face Off.” I’ve never seen Xander take the aggressive role like he has these past few days. But, a toddler friendship is slowly developing, even after a few days.


It must be the new environment, but poor Michael was getting hurt about every hour the first couple days. Tripping over stuff, falling on his face. Yesterday, he actually slammed his eye/temple area into the corner of the coffee table. I thought it was going to be a black eye, on his third day here. Its not as bad as I thought it was, but still kinda ugly.

My 30th surprise!

Jason, gave me a surprise party for my birthday! It was so sweet. My friends Barbra and Jennifer were there, with their beau’s, Chris and Tom (very nice guys!) and my whole family.

Jason did a nice job of keeping it a secret, even though I was trying to play mind games all week to get him to cave, LOL.

He put together a very sweet slideshow, that shows the life of Zoe (and all her ugly haircuts) the weight ups and downs, marriage and the new babies. He also includes a section in the end that shows my little baby girl I lost at five months pregnancy. I had to hold back the tears with that one. Eric Clapton?! How could you? I love it.

If anyone is interested in watching it, it is a rather large file (112mb):

Almost 30, Wowzers!

A month ago I was cramming for the “exam,” by trying to lose the last of my pregnancy chub. I did manage to lose five pounds, putting me 5 pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight (15 pounds from ultimate goal weight).

Last week, I went to the salon for a hip hair cut and did a little clothes shopping.

I think I’m ready. I just need to look over past and present life goals, to make sure I’m on track.

Financial Goals:
1. Completed will. (completed, but not signed)
2. Pay off all non mortgage debt.
3. Purchase rental property.
4. 15% of income to retirement funds. (currently 6% while building savings)
5. 3-6 months worth of living expenses in savings. (rebuilding this after home purchase)
6. Pay off mortgages. (depressing)

Personal Goals:
1. Awesome hubby/life partner.
2. Two babies.
3. Eat healthier and reach optimal weight. (15 pounds away)
4. Foster parenting (nearly certified: application submitted, and 3 classes left)
5. Travel: Japan, Europe, Australia

I guess that’s enough for now. You’d think I am a major type A personality reading this, but I am so type B. The milestone of turning 30 has turned out to be much more of an event, for me, than I ever imagined. I am guessing it has to do with the fact that my kids are 4 and almost 2, my life has calmed down from the baby phase, and I have plenty of time to think again.





It’s amazing what a little Google action can find me.

Here’s my mother-in-law. It seems she’s “Smugpugs” in the online world, and shows her dog “Chubby Cheekers.”

Even has a sweet website



If you happen to see my website…HI MOM!!!!

Here’s The Pics Of The Pumpkin Patch

It had a little train we rode on, out to the patch. Then we took a little boat back. Xander was giving me his grumpy face the whole day, but he was having fun:)

But first, here’s my handsome young nephews on their 10th birthday last Saturday! Eli and Oscar.









Went To The Pumpkin Patch

We spent a few hours at the pumpkin patch today, and WOW, was it ever exhausting! We had no idea this place would be so packed. The parking area looked like the state fair, with so many cars and a parking attendant.
We had to stand in lines for a ticket, for a train ride, a boat ride, and finally to pay for our pumpkins. I couldn’t take any pictures without strangers packed into the background…grrr.
Next year, we’ll go back to our usual, small farm. No trains, no boat. Just a bunch of pumpkins, a corn maze, and a pile of hay bales to climb on. We don’t need no stinkin’ frills! LOL
Trying to upload some photos, and not doing so well….

Have I mentioned the fostering thing?

I think I’ve thrown it out there, in a couple comments. Jason and I are taking classes to be certified foster parents.
We’re on week two of the general certification, and I’ve already completed a “Fragile Infant Care” class. Jason is really getting on board with my fostering interest, especially after the first class. But, now we have the difficult decision of which age will be right for our family. Neither of us wants to take children older than our 4 year old.
Jason doesn’t want a newborn, but I am starting to think more and more that I do want a newborn. A little less sleep at night, but also a lot less behavioral issues. I’ve been gleaning a lot information from a fostering forum, and they’re scaring me with all the behavioral issues! Attatchment disorder, aggression, sexually acting out on pets and other children…these poor kids! I feel so terrible for these abused kids. But we also have to protect our own kids, and think about what we are willing to take on, very carefully.
Also, when I initially called for information, I was told they would love to have us open for newborns (drug exposed, and straight from the hospital), since I’m a nurse. I’m guessing they are frequently sent home with medications to ease the withdrawls, and an RN is required.
So many variables to consider…