Archive for January, 2006

Not a good sign

The last two days, my mind has been running over the potential dialogue of calling and requesting that Michael be moved to another foster home. I think about what I would say, and how I would feel. How would Jason feel? How would the caseworker respond? And what would happen to Michael?

Would he be devastated? Would this be the final disappointment in his life, to send him spiraling into “Reactive Attachment Disorder”.

This placement has not been a great fit from the start. The two little ones are so close in age, they fight all day. Jason and I have been on survival mode, since the day he came, and I am wondering if foster parenting is not for us, at this time in our lives.

Michael has been a sweet little guy, but already exhibits a lot of the characteristics of attachment disorder. The guilt of letting him down, has kept us from making the call, from day one. But every day, I squeeze him and kiss him, feed him and change him…but in the back of my mind, I just wish DHS would call and tell us he is being moved.

I am sooooo tired.

Had all the sibs over tonight…

And we had fun eating pizza, playing games, and…I love this, all of us huddled around my computer laughing at this and that. It was a debate over which breed of bulldog is better looking.

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Still trying ti figure out the B/W conversion without blowing out the face, and losing detail…but here is Michael and Xan sitting at the table on either side of me.

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Jason and Isaac

Squeezing in to see if I can get two in focus, with a 1.4 aperture. Not easy, my friends. But, hey, no flash in my dark living room at night!

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Me Me Me

Thanks Krista, I think I’ll play too!
Bold what is true about you:


I am shorter than 5’4.
I am taller than 5’11”.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I don’t shave my legs. (well, sometimes)
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have a tattoo, or more.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/had braces.
I wear glasses just to read.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have/had more than 2 piercings.
I have/had piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

I’m in school.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years (of school)
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I’ve stolen something from my job. (I “borrowed” incontinence pads for my kid’s bed)
I’ve been fired.
I’ve skipped school.

I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing. (all over my friend’s kitchen floor at age 15, I’ll be in diapers by 40)
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.


I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.

I’ve had serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
My vision is better than 20/20.
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan
I’ve been down under.
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to Hell.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
I have a crush on more than one person.
I have a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve kissed someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler. (only with hubby and kids)
I love to flirt.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I’ve kissed a stranger.

I am a terrible liar.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve been in a fist fight
I’ve witnessed a crime (some dorks ran out of Rite Aid with jugs of wine)
I’ve been arrested
I’ve shoplifted (age 10, milk caught lol)
I’m afraid of dying.
I’ve fantasized about my own death.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has commited suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

In general, I don’t like people.
I’m a feminist.
I’m very outgoing
I listen to political music (once in a while on NPR)
I’m Democratic
I’m Republican.
I’m liberal.
I don’t like Bush because he is dumb.
I don’t like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush. I’m religious.
I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”
I can sing well.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news. (sometimes)
I don’t kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. (…”my lovely lady lumps…” does not count…that’s deep).
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I’ve had Spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.

I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

My answers are totally honest.