I actually sent the email to end our fostering experience

And I am so sad, for Michael. No one can know what its like to foster, until you actually do it. The classes aren’t enough to help you understand, and know if this is something you can do.

A foster child is coming into care with a lot of issues, and needs a lot of extra love and attention. It seemed like something we could do, since we do it every day with our two. Our two children were, in fact, kind of low maintenance , and life seemed “boring” enough to want another.

But the day we got Michael, our life went from quiet to crazy, and I have barely been able to keep a handle on things. Xander turned into demon child. I barely get dressed on my days off, because I can’t go anywhere and I’m just trying to survive another day.

Anyway, here’s the email I sent, that sums it up a little more:

(Case Worker),
Two things:
The eye appointment, shows that Michael has Coloboma, in the right eye. The outward drift in that same eye, is apparently unrelated to the coloboma. It is something that might need surgery in the future, but will need to be monitored with another check up in 6 months.
Our other issue, is his possible attachment disorder. He is a very sweet, lovable guy upon first impression. But, after spending several weeks with him, it is apparent he does not want to be “cuddled” and avoids eye contact for more than a fleeting second. His “play” consists mostly of throwing things, and trying to break toys and books. This has been very difficult to differentiate between “normal” 19 month old behavior, and abnormal behavior…but it just felt like he is MORE in so many ways. After reading up on some attachment disorder sites, he does show many of the “red flag” signs.
We have tried to initiate some of the therapeutic recommendations, and I am sure, given time, these things might help him a lot:
Bottle feeding (as if he was a newborn), with rocking and encouraging eye contact.
Picking him up and cradling him back, telling him “I love you,” each time he is doing a “no-no” behavior,
But, with two young children already, it is turning out to be too much for us. Its been survival mode for us since day one. We gave ourselves until January first to decide if this placement was going to work. We had to be honest with ourselves, Michael, and DHS and admit it is not working out.
Please let us know how we can assist in a transfer ASAP.
Zoe

One Response to “I actually sent the email to end our fostering experience”

  1. Aundi,Omi, Casey & 2Aaron Says:

    Where is the update we are all left in limbo and suspense. We hope that all is going okay…
    Talk to you later,
    the fam

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