When Will Going Out With Both Kids Not End In Mommy Tantrum?

Two months into this two-child family experiment, I am still overwhelmed by going out alone with both kids. I usually end up mumbling obscenities at the car-seat, groaning about how heavy the infant carrier is and dropping numerous things in the parking lot, while trying to corral my slow moving toddler away from traffic. Add a little wind and rain to the mix, and my nerves are liable to explode.
Today’s little adventure included all of the above. Meeting a friend for lunch, I managed to get us all into the restaurant a little damp but unscathed. Getting out was a different story. Since I have to carry the infant carrier, my I’m-still-cool purse and still have a hand free to pull my three year old out of danger, the job of carrying the takeout box was left to the three year old. The rain is soaking us, the three year old is walking turtle slow and the infant is screaming. In full Royal Mom fashion, the soggy parking lot was littered with our take-out and our baby blanket. What is it going to take to get from point A to B without dropping shit??
At this point I should have gone home to my safe place, but decided to risk going to the mall for some play time at the indoor play yard. I had forgotten about this week being spring break; the mall was absolutely packed and the play-yard overflowed with kids. My toddler was squealing with excitement, so I turned him loose while I sat back and watched.
Luck was on my side here, because the baby was sleeping soundly in the Bjorn and I was free to keep my eye on the ball, while still eyeing up the other moms. My two “favorite” moms were there: The Counter and The Clueless.
The Counter is the lazy broad who cannot be burdened to get up from her seat. She shouts across the room to issue warnings and citations. When Counter Jr. refuses to obey, The Counter begins to count, “Get over here NOW! 1…2….3…” If Counter Jr. doesn’t come right away, The Counter does not want to give up her sitting status too easily, so begins to beckon louder. Eventually Counter Jr comes over. Maybe embarrassment is the final clincher?
The other mom, Clueless, sat on the other side of the play-yard and had three children: infant, two, and four. She held the infant and gabbed with Grandma while the older terrors menaced around the play-yard. The four year old boy pushed kids down, kicked, and prevented kids from climbing. The rest of the moms had to rescue their crying children from this boy at least once or twice each. I wanted to kick this mom in the face. One of these days my pent up anger for The Clueless, is going to result in me walking up to her and saying, “You stupid fuck, why don’t you pay attention to your kids!!!”
The outing concluded with me losing my car and wandering around in the rain to find it. Thank God it’s Friday and I can recover with two whole days of tag team parenting.

One Response to “When Will Going Out With Both Kids Not End In Mommy Tantrum?”

  1. Royal Mom Says:

    Happy 2nd birthday, Xander!!!
    Its been a poorly planned celebration this year, as we still need to organize his party for his birthday yesterday, January 7th. We had a wonderful snow storm two years ago, when Jason and I slowly drove to the…

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